A ‘functioning alcoholic’ is a term used to define someone who may not seem like they have any form of alcohol-related issue, but are secretly dependent on it. They don’t have all the typical signs people would look out for in an alcoholic, so many people will not realise what, really, is going on.

On the other hand, hiding a drinking problem from someone you live with can be almost impossible. If you are someone living with a functioning alcoholic, it is common to struggle in finding a way of addressing the situation. We will help you figure out if their drinking is something to be concerned about, and will suggest ways you can try to talk to them about it.

What is a functioning alcoholic?

With functioning alcoholics, it can be hard to realise what is going on. They will go about their lives like normal, keeping their appearance up to scratch, maintaining their job, and functioning pretty well each day. The following signs could indicate someone has an unrecognised alcohol problem:

• They consistently drink a considerable amount more than recommended
• They associate themselves with other people who drink a lot
• They drink a lot in a short space of time
• They drink alone
• They attempt to rationalise their drinking habits
• They do not admit they have an issue with alcohol
• When they do not drink, they experience withdrawal symptoms

How can I talk to a functioning alcoholic about their problem?

If you live with someone who you believe is a functioning alcoholic, it can be helpful to talk about it with them. Follow these tips to get the best out your conversation:

• Talk somewhere private. Here they can be comfortable, which may allow them to open up about their habits.
• Say things like “I couldn’t help but notice…” and “I’m just worried…”. These don’t sound like you are accusing them of anything, or being judgemental.
• Keep in mind that they will most likely deny it all – and use how they are functioning well as their excuse.
• Talk about how you are concerned that it might affect them in the future.
• It is best to walk away if they get too defensive or angry. With their guard up, it’s unlikely you will get through to them.
• Understand this might be something you need to revisit. If you continue to express how you feel in an effective manner, they might one day realise the problem.

Watching someone damage their health because of an alcohol issue can be hard – but in order for any change to happen, they will have to realise the issue first. You can’t force them to change, but you can let them know how it is affecting you.